One morning at school all of the kids opend their desks. They were looking for their pencils. None of the students could find their pencils so they all went and asked the teacher for a pencil. She didn't have any either. So Bob, Joe and Josh all went looking for th epencil thief. At recess they went to every class looking for the pencils. They did not find anything.
The next day they found a pencil on the ground. It was Josh's pencil. They knew that the pencil was Josh's because he had his name carved into it. Bob said the theif must have dropped it. After that they made a plan that they were going to split up. Joe went to the computer lab, Josh went to the library and Bob headed to the cafeteria. they were all looking for the pencil thief.
Josh left the library to go get a drink. On his way back he spotted a pencil on the floor. bob went out to use the washroom. On his way he spotted a guy running down the hall and their was a crash the guy ran into Joe on his way back to the libary. The guy who ran into bob was the pencil theaf all of the pencils fell out of his hood. They reterend all of the pencils to the owners and the mystery was solved.
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4 comments:
Very interesting story! The only things I can think to suggest would be; Watch your capitals for names, and some of your sentences are short and choppy, just conjoin some. It will give it a nice flow. Remember that good sentences do vary in length, but be sure to make short sentences powerful! Other than that I wouldn't change a thing about the storyline, great job!
That's a very interesting story. You're doing very good, but maybe use a bit more detail so the reader can imagine the scene better. Also, when typing, maybe read over your story after you're done to make sure there aren't any spelling errors. Other than that, I find your story to be well written and well thought-out.
I think this is going to turn out to be a good story. The title of this story really caught my attention and I think it is a good idea for a story. This story is suspensful and keeps your interest. My only suggestion would be to add a little more description to make the atmosphere even more suspenseful. Keep up the good work.
This is a good story, it has a perfect outline, and with more revision it could be even better. I'm not sure if this is completely finished or not, but if it is I suggest adding a good conclusion.
I also like the title of this story it really captured my attention, and it fit the story to a tee. Overall this story has a good plot, but with more revision and certain things tweaked it could be amazing. Good job Colby.
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