Shark killer,pochers
Ever watch jaw's,you probally think sharks are giant man eaters trying to get you and eat you right?WRONG!sharks are actually nice crueatures that wont eat you its just a misunderstanding .They only attack for selfdefence usally when they are getting attack so just dont get the big fish in the aquriam mad,and dont mess whith the bull or you well get the horns.
well now you know the shark is a gentle creuture that wont kill you but how but us ?lipstick,sea food,souviners and even fin SOUP!first stay away from beuaty products that have shark oil in it.sea food its all right but so many people are demanding it theres a WARHOUSE FULL OF DEAD SHARKS!,and only for some rich guy that want better food better FOOD theres a shopping mart go buy some ribs.
poachers,imagine having a job that you have to kill inacent animals for money .one of the dispictibal things you could kill a shark and only take the fins and throw away the rest of the shark into the water to suffer!
5 comments:
Great job, Tyrel! This was a very interesting essay! We really enjoyed it! One thing that may help you to make your piece of writing even better than it already is, is sentence fluency. Maybe you could try to make your sentences flow together. Once again, great job! You seem very informed about your topic!
Awesome essay Tyrel! It was very informative and you definitly got your point through to your readers. My only suggestion is to make your sentences more steady. Again, great work!
Wow! You sure know a lot about sharks! I am impressed wth how devoted you are to your writing. My suggestion is that you make sure you use your language correctly & refine a couple of phrases.
I got to say that this story is extreamly good. You seem like a person who enjoys sharks and know their habbits. I liked what you did with the story, but I recommend you add some longer more fluent sentences. Other then that your story is really good, and I completely agree with you, when you say that sharks are friendly, until you provoke them. Great job!
Great essay. You clearly know a lot about sharks and I think it is good that you are educating people on what sharks are really like. I enjoyed how you compared sharks to bulls. More comparisons like that would be great.
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